I don't care how small this town is -- it's just not news.

Today, the illustrious Gazette-Times published a news story of vital importance. It seems that a little old lady was visiting her late husband's grave and got her foot stuck in the mud!

I know. I can't believe it either.

Meanwhile, out there in the real world, Osama bin Laden is issuing new threats and the federal government is trying to obtain Google's search records. Good thing we have the GT to keep us informed about Clara Connelly and her brush with tragedy!