Creepy Cop Stop

Monday evening, a woman driving along Walnut Boulevard was pulled over by a dark car with a flashing red light. When the "police officer" approached her car, he directed her to drive off the road into the more secluded Martin Luther King, Jr. Park. That probably should've been the first clue that something was iffy. Maybe the second or third clue, considering that local police don't use single red flashing lights anymore -- even the unmarked cars have a panel in the grille with flashing blue and white lights -- and that the gentleman was wearing dark clothes, but no uniform and no badge. But cops are authority figures and most of us would probably also comply without really thinking at first.

Anyway, she followed his advice and drove into the park. Thankfully, the light bulb finally clicked on when Officer Jackass ordered her out of the car, saying that the car was reported stolen, then tried to open her door. She drove away and called the real police. It's only a shame she didn't run over his feet or something.

Wednesday, a Gazette-Times editorial explained the difference between genuine police officers and imposters. Good little public service announcement, if they simply stuck to the facts and repeated the wise advice to call 911 from a cellphone to verify the traffic stop is genuine or to ask the officer to follow to a well-lit area or present identification. However, they then added the following statement, which made me laugh out loud:

Let’s face it; traffic stops tend to happen “coincidentally” with your cutting a turn wide to the far lane rather than the near one, mis-timing how long a traffic light would stay yellow or deciding that speeding isn’t illegal if nobody sees.

Do they live in the same town as you and I? I can't even count the number of times I have been pulled over for hilarious invented reasons, especially late at night, because the local police hope and pray to find a drunk driver or fulfill an arrest warrant. Some of my favorite reasons for being pulled over: "We thought you might be weaving." "Your left turn was a little wide." "That U-turn was illegal." (I hadn't made a U-turn.) Since moving here in 1990, I have been pulled over probably 30 times. From all these stops, I have never received a single ticket. Not a one. Why? Because I wasn't actually doing anything wrong. Granted, my tail light was out on two occasions, but that's a valid reason. I don't speed, I stop completely at stop signs, and I even use my turn signal, which seems to be a rarity these days.

Most of these incidents were when I was younger, drove a run-down car, and was married to someone with long hair. Forget racial profiling; in this town, long hair is a major issue for police officers. When my ex was a passenger in the car, they'd ask him for identification instead of me!

Anyway, be smart, don't let the fake cop get you, but don't believe for a second that you won't get pulled over if you follow the rules of the road. This town is small and we have a lot of bored police officers.