Putting the "Oh for Christ's Sake" back in Christmas

Over the past couple of weeks, several letters have been written to the Gazette-Times arguing about the political correctness of "Happy Holidays" and "winter break" and proclaiming there to be a war on Christmas and even Christianity itself. I find this entire argument utterly bizarre, but it's all part of a national trend instigated by the organized evangelicals. If they can successfully make Christians feel as though their very faith is under attack, maybe they can mobilize them to reflexively vote for overtly religious politicians and policies. Or something.

Here are a couple of clue-by-fours for those of you who need them. If someone says "Happy Holidays" to you, they are probably being friendly and inclusive. Feel free to say "Merry Christmas" in return. I bet you don't receive the reciprocal sneer or spit in the face you may be expecting. It's a simple fact that many, many people in this country celebrate Hanukkah, winter solstice, Kwanzaa, Festivus or nothing at all. If they are friendly enough to give you a holiday greeting, don't be a jerk and ignore them or be rude because they didn't proffer up your chosen holiday. Sheesh.

If your kid is in school and mentions "Christmas break" or says "Merry Christmas" to another kid or a teacher, chances are good that there will be no penalty or detention. It is the school's responsibility to be inclusive to all kids, not just Christian kids, unless it's a Christian school, in which case nobody will be complaining that the vacation is called Christmas break. Winter break is an appropriate appellation for the school vacation that falls around this time of year, because not only Christian kids are out of school for two weeks.

(On the other hand, that might be the best way to rack up the converts -- simply state that only kids who actually celebrate a particular holiday can have the day off from school. Wouldn't that fill up the churches? I'd just grab a calendar and see which religion had the most holidays. Probably some nice Orthodox branch of Catholicism with lots of saints' days.)

Now, if you are Christian and really believe that you are being persecuted in this country simply because other people choose not to jump on your belief bandwagon, I'd like you to spend the next hour looking up "persecution" on the internets and let me know where you rank. Somewhere between torturing the Falun Gong in China and imprisoning the Ahmadis in Pakistan, maybe? Maybe one step below the kidnapping and executions of Chaldeans in Baghdad?

Oregon and Corvallis were listed among the least religious locations in the United States. We are home to the founder of the Pastafarian movement. Even so, there is a wide variety of churches and religious groups here, and not a single one of them is facing anything even resembling persecution. So please, just stop. When someone rips the Bible out of your hands and beats you with it, you'll have a valid complaint. When someone wishes you happy holidays with a smile, you just don't.